I’ve been reading and following the perceived experts (psychologists, psychiatrists, influencers) around the topic of “toxic positivity”. It’s a real thing. Yet there’s also a themed voice out there that’s deflating core spiritual teachings which serve humans in a profound way.
I’d like for us to look at the middle path.
What is “Toxic Positivity”?
The term has been around for a while. It supports the concept that focusing only on positive thoughts and emotions will help one get through a hard or challenging time or life event.
Some even say it’s about rejecting any negative thought or feeling in life. If shallow, ‘think positive’, advice is poured onto a person going through a rough time, it can be a form of quick and unintentional gaslighting.
All this can stop a person from expressing how they truly feel. They may end up suppressing, rather than processing their emotions.
How do we honor our own emotions, as well as the emotions of others, AND continue to work with the Spiritual Laws to realize our dreams and goals?
For instance, the Law of Mind Action is focused on the energy of your thoughts. What you focus on grows. You get more of it.
As you think, so you become energy.
Toxic Positivity Led Me Into a Pandemic?
I’m pretty sure you’re thinking right now… “KISMA, I DID NOT THINK ABOUT A PANDEMIC, nor attract it.”
I get it.
People encounter tragedy, illness and rough times as part of life. Even drastic events happen due to numerous cause and effect occurrences.
How do we navigate the reality of life, yet allow ourselves to be receptive to something that may actually serve us?
Do we stay stuck in fear and anxiety?
Do we start painting our homes bright rainbow colors with unicorn decals and watch reruns of our favorite TV shows?
Perhaps we do both, yet in moderation… as perception is key and is the mastery point of life.
As someone who focuses on Prosperous Thought and uses it as a coaching and business model, I’ve witnessed in myself and my clients the use of Universal Laws and Energy to create success, confidence and happiness.
Creating a Culture of Healthy Positivity
This new reality takes guts and heart, truth and tears and sometimes will throw you to your knees so that you can see and accept what you want and where you’re getting in your own way.
It’s not all unicorns and reruns of Schitt’s Creek (though I found that extremely joyous during quarantine.)
But there is a point where you step into choice. And choice is precious.
Here are a few things you can do as a friend or relative to support yourself and those you love.
Let’s start with the ASK;
If a friend comes to you shaken up with a life event, set up the conversation by asking if they want advice… or are they looking for a compassionate listener so they can process what’s going on?
If it’s a verbal regurgitation of stuff, listen and be present. As well, make a note to not take on their energy.
If they want advice, ask them this: “How do you want to feel? What would you like to experience differently?”
Be sure to let them know you are not trying to negate their emotions but asking ourselves what we really want can set the brain in a different direction.
And that direction usually offers solution…
I did this for a client the other day… he was deep in fear of the unknown.
He didn’t want to be there. It was frightening and finances were part of it.
Once I heard how he wanted to feel more certain about his future, it gave me an opening to talk him through opportunities that were in the near future and to get a true understanding of his money.
Never did I say “Just think positive hon, and you’ll bust out of that fear in no time.”
Yet, since he wanted a shift, we were able to create simple yet powerful actions that would allow him to feel more certain and to find that heart opening space of being heard and connected with.
Is this making sense?
Ask yourself… it’s the same process… How do you want to feel?
Do you want to stay in the fear of the unknown, the anger or resentment that you might be experiencing?
Some people do— and that is their right to choose.
Yet— and this is where understanding the spiritual laws and human equipments differ with many psychologists— you can very often choose how you feel.
In fact, you can DIRECT your emotions to a higher state.
It’s not about NOT FEELING, it’s about deciding HOW LONG you want to feel a certain way. Over processing emotions can become an addiction.
Feel and experience your emotions. HONOR them. Then decide what you want…
The Vedanta teachings call it using the Intellect. This is like a muscle that directs your emotions, yet does not disrespect them.
It’s the faculty that you have access to that enables you to find some piece of life, right now, that you can be grateful for.
And gratitude is not toxic positivity. It’s the foundation of reaching up and out of despair and creating something different.
Gratitude will get you in rhythm with God/Universe/Energy. It will shift your field rapidly and help you understand that you are the greatest achievement on this planet, just by being born human.
One of the ways I process my sadness (which happens to be a beautiful human emotion), doubt or anger— is to walk in nature. It’s a reminder of how good the Universe is. How much abundance exists and the power that is within me by being a part of Mother Nature.
There’s a bigger teaching to all this that I’ll share in a few days. But for now, let me know if this helps.